Being in a long-distance marriage adds difficulties that will render a marriage more difficult. Here are few pointers for holding your marriage intact even though you don't live under the same roof.
Communication is important.
Connection is important in all partnerships. Maintain clear lines of contact on a regular basis. Submit photos, Skype, instant messages, and post brief videos digitally or via cloud storage. Technology is a very valuable tool (scientific research backs this up), as long as you find the approaches that fit well for you.
Create time for one another and though you are apart. Here are few suggestions:
- Send a romantic letter or a text.
- Create a collaborative blog.
- Think of your girlfriend.
- Chat online or via text messages.
- Stream a video or television show and watch it "together" via Skype or FaceTime.
- Add electronic cards, lyrics, poetry, movies, and stories to your online contact.
- Play video games with your mates.
- Care packets can be sent.
- Maintain pictures of each other in your respective areas.
- Give each other scented pillowcases or shirts to make you be more present for each other.
Here are few steps on how to keep things together even though you are not being together:
- Plan a holiday, a couple of days out, or a social thing (other than sex) for when the two of you are back together. It helps to plan ahead of time whether you will be together in the same venue, whether it is every weekend or just a few times a year.
- Despite their lengths, partners in stable long-distance relationships remain interdependent and intertwined. That is, they keep each other engaged in day-to-day activities and projects. Sort out your priorities. Have confidence.
- Share your thoughts on being away from one another. Often, discuss your hopes about the next time you'll be together. It is important that you are still loyal to each other and have confidence in your union.
- Be forthright about the various social events. Secrets breed distrust because when your mate learns what you're up to, they'll feel more attached to you, particularly though they're thousands of miles away.
- If you don't trust each other, your long-distance marriage would collapse. Be open with your worries and questions about your breakup. Some partners feel that long-distance marriage is better than other types of long-distance marriages because they are less concerned with splitting up. Instead, they concentrate on what they already have in common and how deeply they feel for one another.
- Don't believe that the physical breakup would lead to infidelity. Because of the affection and devotion that the partners share for one another, most long-distance relationships do not have to contend with this heartache. When you encounter difficulties, explore them with each other rather than with strangers such as acquaintances or family. (As an exception, a couples' therapist could assist you in navigating a challenging period.)
- We exist in an age of advanced technologies. There is no need to go three days without communicating with your girlfriend. Keep in touch with your girlfriend. Text or call them during the day if necessary. Yes, the whole day. You want to feel near and linked. Messaging provides you with the warmth and intimacy that you will be forced to compensate for in the evenings after work.
- Since you'll be spending the majority of your time apart, you must commit to seeing each other via video every day. It is important to dedicate attention to your mate. Not just a short talk, but at least an hour. We have to find time with someone who lives far away in the same manner as we make time with someone who lives nearby. This is an important aspect that all of us overlook. Face-to-face contact is needed. And it must be on a daily basis.
- You thought this was going to happen, didn't you? Sex on video. It must take place. Sure, if you've never Skype-sexed before, it can be uncomfortable. You weren't born knowing how to get it on in bed, and you're not going to learn how to get it on via video either. It requires time and effort, as well as a desire to understand. Any of the lessons can come from making fun of yourself. Sex is strange. It is appropriate to joke.
- Is it possible to have a long-distance marriage? Yes, just not indefinitely. Life is full of surprises. Everyone has to relocate for jobs, you are not residents of the same area, one of you has a sick parent, and so on. There may be a thousand explanations that the friendship is long-distance. You should do it. But make a timetable. Make a promise not just to your partnership but also to determining who will travel and when. Long-distance relationships with open-ended timeframes just do not function. It allows for pain, schisms, and clashes. It's not a good idea. It's a snare. Set a time limit that is reasonable for all of you. Maybe it's only for a year. Maybe you can live with two? Six months could be everything you can take. What matters is that you make a choice and hold to it. Take care of what has to be taken care of. Anything that must take a back seat to your friendship. It is what marriage is all about.
When You've Been Reunited
Don't jump into doing stuff about the house or spending a lot of time with acquaintances who have often missed the traveling partner. It will take some time for both couples to adapt to being back together. Children and pets will often need time to adjust to the unfamiliar realities of living under the same roof.