45+ Funniest Motivational Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Do you want to laugh? Browse our collection of the best and most humorous funniest motivational, funny motivational sayings and inspirational quotes.

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
Jack London

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!“
Audrey Hepburn

“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.“
Kyle Chandler

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.“
Oscar Wilde

“Only he who attempts the absurd is capable of achieving the impossible.“
Miguel de Unamuno

Funny Motivational Quotes to Inspire You

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast. Alfred A. Montapert

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

Don’t worry about looking good – worry about achieving your goals. Ray Dalio

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished. Leslie Nielsen

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. Christopher Morley

All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. Ellen DeGeneres

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. George Bernard Shaw

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success Jerry Seinfeld

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

I’m addicted to placebos. Steven Wright

I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money. Pablo Picasso

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. Mitch Hedberg

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller

The ultimate inspiration is the deadline. Nolan Bushnell

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Mark Twain

The four most beautiful words in our common language I told you so. Gore Vidal

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. Joan Rivers

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Bill Murray

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin

Sane is boring. R.A. Salvatore

Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg

Reality continues to ruin my life. Bill Watterson

Puns are the highest form of literature. Alfred Hitchcock

Only dead fish go with the flow. Unknown

Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers

There are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them. Unknown

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. Tina Fey

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

We’re not playing solitaire out here. - Bill Parcells

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde

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