Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids

About your children, you probably wouldn't say things like "Wait until your father gets home" or "I wish you were more like your sister." However, there is a slew of less evident ones you can stay away from, both for their sake and yours. Here are 10 things that you should never say to your child:

1. "Wonderful work."

According to Jenn Berman, Psy.D., author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids, throwing out a familiar word like "Good girl" or "Way to go" any time your child masters an ability makes her reliant on your approval rather than her own encouragement. Save the praise for when it's really deserved, and be as descriptive as possible. in place of ""Wow, that was a great assist," you claim. I like the way you searched for your colleague."

2. "Perfection comes with practice."

True, the more time your child devotes to his studies, the better his skills get. This adage, on the other hand, will increase the pressure he experiences to succeed or exceed. it gives the impression that if you make errors, you didn't train hard enough. "What's wrong with me?' I've seen kids beat themselves up, asking what's wrong with them. ‘Even though I practice, practice, practice, I'm always not the fastest.” Instead, inspire your child to put in the extra effort so he will learn and be proud of his accomplishments.

3. "It's all right."

When your kid scrapes his knee and sobs, it's natural to want to comfort him that he's not seriously injured. Telling him he's good, on the other hand, could make him feel much worse. "The child is moaning because he isn't doing well," It is your duty to assist him in comprehending and dealing with his feelings, not to dismiss them.

Give him a hug and acknowledge his feelings by saying something along the lines of, "That was a frightening slide." Then inquire as to whether he would like a bandage or a kiss (or both).

4. "Get moving!"

Your kid takes her time eating food, insists on tying her own shoes (despite the fact that she hasn't yet perfected the skill), and is on track to be late for school once again. Pressuring her to pass forward adds to her tension. Saying, "Let's rush," in a somewhat softer way, gives the impression that the two of you are on the same team. You should even make getting ready a game: "How about a sprint to see who can put on her pants first?"

If you have trouble remembering what not to say? Make use of our handy diagram.

5. "I'm on a weight-loss program."

Are you keeping an eye on your weight? Keep your thoughts to yourself. If your kid sees you stepping on the scale every day and hearing you speak about being "big," she may create an unrealistic body image. "I'm eating well because I like how it makes me act," is a stronger statement. Take the same approach when it comes to working out. "I need to work out," for example, might come across as an annoyance, but "It's gorgeous outside — I'm going for a stroll," on the other hand, might entice her to join you.

6. "That's what we can't spare."

When your child asks you for the next gift, it's simple to respond with this default answer. Doing so gives the impression that you're not in charge of your finances, which may be frightening to children. If you make an extravagant household transaction after making this argument, grade-schoolers will call you out on it.

"We're not going to purchase that because we're saving our money for more critical stuff," for example, is an alternate way to articulate the same message. If she keeps on talking about it more, you've got a great opportunity to launch a dialogue about money management and budgeting.

7. "Stop interacting with outsiders."

For a little person, this is a difficult idea to understand. And if an individual is a stranger to her, she may not regard him as such if he is kind to her. Children can interpret this law incorrectly and resist the assistance of officers or firefighters they don't recognize. Instead of scaring her away from people, create scenarios ("What will you do if a man you don't meet offered you sweets and a ride home?"), make her clarify what she will do, and then guide her to the appropriate course of action.

8. "Take note."

When you say this to your kid as he's standing on the monkey bars at the playground, he'll be more apt to crash. The comments divert him from what he's doing, so he loses concentration. If you're worried, get next to him so you can spot him if he falls, while being as still and silent as possible.

9. "If you don't complete your meal, you won't get dessert."

Using this phrase raises a child's perceived appreciation of the reward while decreasing his pleasure in the meal itself. Change the message to something like, "First, we'll have our dinner, then we'll have dessert." The gradual difference in wording has a much more beneficial effect on your boy.

10. "Let me assist you."

When your kid is having difficulty constructing a block tower or completing a puzzle, it's normal to want to assist him. Don't do anything. Jumping in too fast will suffocate your child's freedom and he'll already be turning to others for answers.

Conclusion

Perhaps your child simply requires more preparation time. If that's the case, give them a hug and remember their feelings by stating, "I know you always wanted to be selected today, but there will be plenty of chances."

And, when they're ready, inspire them to keep learning and attempt again. Through coaching and helping the children during difficult periods, they would be more prepared to deal with situations that do not go as planned in the future.