Parents don't typically want to make errors at first. However, they often depend only on their "parenting instincts" and fail to seek assistance for typical parenting difficulties and problems. Unfortunately, many of us don't have a natural sense of what to do in every scenario we encounter as parents, and we all make errors from time to time.
Learning to avoid these seven typical parenting blunders can help you become a more successful parent.
1) Not attempting to resolve issues
Many parents suffer months or years of frustration dealing with typical issues, either because they believe some problems can't be addressed or because they are just quick to accept them. Bedtime fights, frequent nocturnal awakenings, or frequent temper tantrums and behavior issues in older children are examples of this.
Most issues you encounter as a parent may be worked through and altered or repaired, but it may take some effort.
However, you may need assistance. Although your baby did not arrive with instructions, there are many books, websites, and individuals that may assist you in navigating the difficulties of parenthood. When dealing with more severe or chronic issues, your doctor and other health experts may assist.
2) Problems that are overestimated or underestimated
Before you can solve an issue, you must first determine what constitutes a problem. And, if there is an issue, how serious is it?
It a major issue if you:
- Is your preschooler throwing tantrums now and then?
- Is a 5- or 6-year-old 'found' pretending to be a doctor?
- Teen starts to push his boundaries, spends more time away from his family, or strives to be more self-sufficient?
In general, the answer is no in all three cases. These are straightforward, age-appropriate problems that should be anticipated. On the other hand, an issue like an adolescent found smoking, stealing, or cheating should not be taken lightly.
3) Expecting Unrealistic Results
You may really cause difficulties if you have unreasonable expectations of what your children should do. This often occurs when parents get irritated or impatient with a two-and-a-half-year-old who refuses to toilet train, a six-year-old who is wetting the bed, or a moody adolescent.
Make sure your expectations are in line with what your children are developmentally capable of or expected to accomplish.
4) Lack of Consistency
Few things may damage your children more than a parenting style that is inconsistent. If you are tough at times but give in to others or just don't appear to care what your children do, they will struggle to understand what is expected of them and how to behave.
5) There are no rules or limits in place.
You may believe that allowing your children to do everything they want is a good thing, but most younger children find it particularly difficult to live without boundaries. Rules, boundaries, regular routines, and restricted options can assist your kid to understand and anticipate what will happen during the day.
6) Retaliation
Fighting back is a "family dance" in which you may get locked in these harmful communication patterns. We're not talking about physically fighting with your kid, but you may fight back by becoming angry, screaming, or repeating yourself again and over.
Fighting or fighting with your children attracts unwanted attention and gives them a lot of control over you since they can elicit such powerful responses.
Fighting back will result in you unintentionally encouraging the conduct you're attempting to curb, rather than reducing troublesome habits.
Instead of fighting back, you can do better by putting an end to power struggles and adopting more effective disciplinary methods, such as time-out and utilizing logical and natural consequences, rather than spending time arguing before employing them.
7) Refusing to Change What Doesn't Work
It's nearly as bad as not attempting to solve issues in the first place if you don't recognize or change your parenting methods that aren't working. Is what you're doing effective? For example, you may believe that spanking is an effective method of discipline, but if you have to use it every day to address the same issue or behavior, it isn't. Alternatively, if your kid's bedtime ritual entails your child continually getting out of bed, lasts an hour, and leaves you upset and your child weary the following morning, you'll need to find a new method to assist your child is going to bed.
If you're experiencing trouble with these common mistakes do parents, see your doctor.
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