When it comes to saying "I love you" for the first time in a new relationship, there are no hard and fast rules. Here are some things to think about if you're trying to figure out what your timeline should look like.
When it comes to expressing "I love you," how long should you wait?
The length of time you should wait before expressing "I love you" is determined by your interpretation of the phrase. Some individuals wait months or even years to express their love because they think "I love you" has enormous importance and they want to be sure about how they feel. "However, some individuals interpret the word 'love' quite loosely; in this instance, stating 'I love you in the first few weeks or months might seem right."
62% of people believe you should declare "I love you" "as soon as you feel it," while 22% believe you should wait "several months" and 3% believe you should wait "at least a year." According to studies, males wait three months on average to express "I love you," while women take five months.
When is it OK to say "I love you"?
If you don't know the individual very well, it's probably too soon to proclaim "I love you," which is a symptom that you're mistaking love with infatuation. Love is feeling deeply attached and connected to someone, while infatuation is a strong sensation of desire and obsession for someone. Thoughts of "love" in the early days or weeks of a relationship are often sentiments of infatuation.
Truly loving someone involves accepting them for who they are, with all their talents and shortcomings; this form of love cannot be found via a succession of brief dates or amazing sexual experiences.
Sentiments of love may develop after just a few weeks of knowing someone. True love may undoubtedly be experienced and expressed within several weeks of deep, purposeful interactions, depending on the quantity of time spent together and the complexity of the interactions.
It's more about the character of the time spent together than the quantity of time spent together. When traumatic events occur and a person feels supported and cared for by another, the brain releases oxytocin and vasopressin, which are the 'feel-good' and relationship chemicals that encourage individuals to form long-term partnerships. It's ok to lean into it if it occurs during the first month of knowing someone.
Is it better if you say it first?
It doesn't matter who says "I love you" first if two individuals adore one other. If you're not sure if your partner shares your feelings, you may still express them—just be aware of why you're doing it. Whether you simply want to let them know where your heart is and don't care if they reciprocate your emotions, go ahead.
Just three small words may have a lot of weight for certain individuals, so think about how your confession will affect them and your relationship. A person's declaration of love may both draw a 'not so ready' person closer and frighten them away..
If having the other person love you back is vital to you, paying attention to body language clues as well as the various sorts of language they use to express their feelings about you. Key statements like 'I'm catching emotions for you,' 'I really like you,' or 'I feel so close to you' are often used by couples to test each other. Look to see if any of these 'I love you' antecedents are present. If they are, now is the moment to express your feelings.
Signs that it's time to declare "I love you" include:
- It feels like it's about to explode out of you.
- You're on the verge of saying it, or it's on the tip of your tongue.
- You have a thorough understanding of your relationship.
- You're aware of your partner's imperfections, yet you still care about them.
- You've shared important or noteworthy experiences.
- "I really like you," or "I really like you," don't seem to be enough nowadays.
- You've been saying things to your lover like "I truly like you" or "I feel so close to you," and they've responded positively.
- Your companion has been making similar claims as well.
- You've been talking about your relationship as if it's going to endure for a long time. You can gift an infinity ring to your lifelong friend.
When it's not appropriate to say it for the first time.
- When you're intoxicated and having sex
- When you're under duress, use text instead of talking.
- You need something from them and believe that telling them would assist.
What if they don't respond?
Your relationship isn't finished simply because your spouse doesn't respond "I love you" back the first time you say it. It might be painful if you are rejected. It also does not imply that the relationship must stop immediately. Instead, building up to that emotion for a partner might take time.
There's no way to force someone to love you, not rushing the process since it may make the other person uncomfortable if they feel rushed. However, there are techniques to strengthen your emotional connection with someone and promote emotions of closeness.
If reciprocal affection isn't conveyed ultimately, it's crucial to pay attention. If a couple is dating seriously and the first 'I love you' has yet to be exchanged by both parties after eight months to a year. That is a clue that something is wrong with either the relationship's trajectory or one or both couples' emotional availability.
The End Result
When you say "I love you" for the first time is determined by the conditions of the relationship, what you want to happen after you confess, and whether or not you really love each other.
In general, it's not the passage of time that determines when it's appropriate to declare 'I love you. What matters most is that you realize deep down in your heart that the sensations you're experiencing are more than infatuation.